Gay Dating/Chat Apps

Gay Dating/Chat Apps. About 65% of people who identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual that have used online dating apps or sites say their experience was very or somewhat positive.

Gay dating apps are, for the most part, safe. But as you should do for any dating website or app, always exercise caution when meeting someone new. You can’t be sure who you’re talking to online.

Remember that catfishing (the act of using someone else’s photos to create a new identity) is still a very real problem in this digital age. Be mindful of Romance Scams.

If you live in a predominantly homophobic city (most-even New York City), be careful with how fast you trust someone. The safest thing to do is arrange your first meet-up in public. Or arrange a video call before your official first date. Always leave a note on your dresser explaining exactly who you are going to meet, where, and at what time – as well as what time you expect to return. Let friends and family know this is your safety method.

Gay dating sites and apps are mostly safe, but there is always a potential for something bad to occur.

If you’re looking for a fast hookup, you probably should not waste your time on a website like OkCupid or eHarmony. And similarly, if you are looking for a long-term relationship, you probably won’t find that on an app like Grindr.

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Five Popular Gay Dating/Chat Apps

1. Grindr was the first gay geolocation app, meaning that it lets you know how close you are to others (e.g., 715 feet). While it’s usually used for more quick and casual “liaisons”—you can and plenty of people still do use it to ask out men on dates. Still, it’s not uncommon to have shared nudes before you’ve actually met in real life.

2. Tinder has a that swipe life, where you go through multiple profiles, each with a mini-bio and a few pictures, and if the two of you “match,” meaning you both swipe right — indicating you’d like to connect — then you get the option to start a conversation.

3. Scruff is likely the second most popular gay male dating/hookup app, and it came on the scene shortly after Grindr, in 2010. While similar to Grindr, Scruff caters to a more masculine and harrier crowd, as the name suggests. Scruff is best suited for men in the GTBQ community looking for diverse types of men. It is one of the top-rated gay dating apps, and because it uses geolocation, it shows you singles near you. When searching for potential dates, it allows you to tick off one or multiple communities you are open to. These communities include bear, bisexual, cub, daddy, discreet, drag, jock, military, muscle, otter, poz, trans, and much more.

4. Jack’d is the best diverse bi, gay, queer, and trans dating app. It has a global community of five million members in over 180 countries. The main goal of this gay app is inclusivity. It aims to create a community that brings together diverse LGBTQ+ members to meet, make friends, and develop deep connections, whether it be friendships or romantic relationships. Similar to Tinder and Grindr, Jack’d is location-based. It offers a free version and also has a paid version. This app is globally the most diverse gay dating app.

5. Bumble was created by Tinder co-founder Whitney Wolfe Heard after she left Tinder due to sexual discrimination and harassment. It’s been described as a “feminist Tinder.” In hetero relationships, only female users can make the first contact with their matched male users; in same-sex matches, either person can send a message first.

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Sadly, many profiles contain vile preferences. Just because a certain race or body type is not your type, there is no need to be crude about it. Racism and body-shaming are not acceptable. In an LGBTQ+ space, people should be all the more inclusive. If someone isn’t your type, be polite when declining.

In this day and age, everyone should assume everyone else is HIV+. If you feel comfortable, consider telling your potential date about your HIV status. It’s something that everyone wants to know but is sometimes reluctant to say. Note there are often laws against exposing a romantic partner to the HIV virus. Save yourself an awkward conversation later on and be honest about it. Grindr has a section for HIV+ folks called “Poz.”