New York, N.Y. – “Life’s flowin’ and glowin’, baby.” Those words, whispered by a mysterious stranger in a Detroit jazz club moments before tragedy, have guided Brenda Vaccaro through a six-decade career as one of America’s most versatile actresses.
It was a joy to interview Brenda Vaccaro twice in New York City—at the iconic Russian Samovar and the charming Tuscany Steakhouse.
Brenda Vaccaro’s six-decade career spans over 40 films, 70 TV roles, and more than 10 major Broadway and regional theater credits. From gritty New Hollywood films like Midnight Cowboy to TV classics like Friends and The Golden Girls, her adaptability and work ethic have made her one of America’s most beloved and enduring actresses.
Her career spans more than six decades, with roles ranging from Oscar-nominated film performances (Midnight Cowboy, Once Is Not Enough) to standout TV guest spots (Friends, The Golden Girls, Ally McBeal, Paper Dolls), leading series (Sara), and recurring animation voice work (notably as Bunny Bravo in Johnny Bravo and Scruple in The Smurfs).
From the gritty realism of 1960s New Hollywood (Midnight Cowboy) to the blockbuster era of the 1970s (Airport ’77) and the rise of prestige TV in the 1990s and 2000s (Friends, Ally McBeal), Brenda’s adaptability has kept her relevant across seismic shifts in the entertainment industry.
Brenda’s accolades include an Academy Award nomination, three Golden Globe nominations
(winning one), four Primetime Emmy nominations (winning one), and three Tony nominations.
Her latest film, Nonnas, earned an Emmy nomination for Outstanding Television Movie.
Brenda’s acting resume demonstrates a remarkable breadth and volume, making her not only one of the best-loved actresses in America, but also among the hardest working.
Her Latest Triumph – Nonnas
At 85, Brenda Vaccaro is enjoying a career resurgence with Nonnas, Netflix’s global #1 hit about four Italian American grandmothers running a Staten Island restaurant.
The heartwarming comedy, blending humor and nostalgia, topped Netflix’s Top 10 list for May 5-11, 2025, with 15.3 million viewers in its first three days and availability in 71 countries.
Its universal themes of family and resilience earned it an Emmy nomination for Outstanding Television Movie.
From Brooklyn to Dallas: A Sicilian Legacy
Born in Brooklyn in 1939, Brenda moved to Dallas as a child during the post-Depression, World War II era.
Raised Roman Catholic, she attended an all-girls school and graduated from Thomas Jefferson High School.
As a child, she would practice speaking and making faces in the mirror at home.
Her Italian grandmother feared she was insane, muttering the Sicilian term “Stunnata!” as she passed by. “She’s nuts!”
Her Sicilian roots ran deep—her father Mario, an immigrant who arrived through Ellis Island, won the Buell Scholarship to NYU Law School, inspiring Brenda’s middle name, Buell.
Finding Texas law too “Wild West,” he took founder Mario’s, Dallas’ first Italian restaurants, in 1945.
The restaurant, with its Venetian charm and strolling musicians, introduced Italian culture to Texas and shaped Brenda’s pride in her heritage, later fueling her authentic performance in Nonnas.
At Mario’s, entertainers like Nat King Cole and Jimmy Durante were regulars.
At age 10, Brenda joined Durante onstage to sing “How Could You Believe Me When I Said I Love You When You Know I’ve Been a Liar All My Life” from the 1951 film Royal Wedding. His prediction—“This kid is going to be in show business!”—proved prophetic.
Father’s Worries, but Family is Everything
Her father, Mario A. Vaccaro, worried that acting wouldn’t provide stability, cautioning Brenda against smoking to protect her voice, comparing her to husky-voiced stage legend Katharine Cornell.
He saw her perform only once, as a cigarette-smoking call girl named Flaming Peach in a Texas production.
“My father was very liberal, very generous,” Brenda told me over dinner. “We lost him way too early,” she said sadly.
Like the fictional Reagan family in the multi-generational Irish American clan of cops in Brooklyn portrayed in Blue Bloods, Sunday dinners were important in the Vaccaro home.
One day as she was bouncing out of the house, her mother Christine Pavia Vaccaro (obituary right) reminded her, fingers intertwined, “Family is everything.”
Brenda said it did not resonate then, but it certainly does today. And she intertwined her fingers for emphasis.
Launching a Career in New York
At 17, Brenda left Dallas for New York City, chasing her stage dreams.
She studied at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts and the Neighborhood Playhouse under Sanford Meisner, whose improvisational “reality of doing” technique shaped her craft.
Classmates included James Caan and Jessica Walter, with whom she honed her improvisation skills.
Her Broadway debut came in 1961 with Everybody Loves Opal, earning her a Theatre World Award.
This play comedy is about a kind, optimistic woman who becomes the target of a scheme by three con artists to defraud her of insurance money.
Students of legendary acting teacher Sanford Meisner whose ‘reality of doing’ technique shaped generations included Steve McQueen, Robert Duvall, Gregory Peck, Diane Keaton, Tony Randall, Sydney Pollack, David Mamet, Chris Noth, Betsy von Furstenberg, and Jennifer Grey among many other notable actors.
“Martha Graham was teaching dance, and I took her class. I called my dad that night in Texas, and he was pleased everything was going so well. I soon learned he died that night. My dad had given me my freedom.”
In Life and On Film: Improvise!
Brenda’s love for improvisation shines in Nonnas, where she sparked a memorable food fight scene, catching co-star Lorraine Bracco off guard. “I just went for it,” she said, her eyes sparkling. “Lorraine’s shock was real, and it made the scene magic.”
This spontaneity, honed under Sanford Meisner’s tutelage, has defined her approach to acting, bringing authenticity to every role.
“I was with (legendary Hollywood mogul) Lew Wasserman for years. He was my agent. Lew took my career UP (she gestured emphatically with her hands). He really jet fueled my career and sent it into orbit. He was very strict, Lew, but he loved me and Suzanne Pleshette.”
I remember having lunch with Lew one day. Lew complained that that the costume designer Ann Roth had said ‘your costumes are costly – about $30,000 a week.’ Lew said I should pay for it.” He was kidding, I think, but the control was too much.”
“It was in my contract that I could not have children. But I broke with him after the film Airport ‘77. But at that time, I was 38. And I don’t have children to this day, but I have a wonderful dog!
Detroit’s Lasting Lesson: “Like a Fart in a Frying Pan!”
In the late 1970s, Brenda’s romance with saxophonist Richie Cole took her to Detroit’s Baker’s Keyboard Lounge.
In the greenroom, tempted by a joint, cocaine, and whiskey, she was startled by an old man with a lined face and glinting rings.
“Pick one, or you’ll be like a fart in a frying pan!” he warned sternly, adding, “Life’s flowin’ and glowin’, baby.”
Moments later, jazz vocalist Eddie Jefferson was shot outside the club.
The mysterious stranger vanished, but his words became Brenda’s mantra, a reminder to embrace life’s flow while avoiding excess.
“Richie and I didn’t return to L.A. the next day as scheduled,” she confided. “When we did get back to L.A., Richie walked out on me. He was very dramatic and stomped on his own glasses for angry effect.
Helen Reddy was one of my best friends. She had told me alto sax players like Richie were bad news. She said I should run from him. Helen was a tiny woman with a tremendous vision.”
“Richie’s emotional breakup upset me, of course. But then I moved on, flowin’ and glowin’. Helen was very supportive. My friends were always very supportive.”
Friends and Lovers
Brenda’s personal life intertwined with her career. She shared a seven-year romance with Michael Douglas, met through The Streets of San Francisco, and formed lasting friendships with Barbra Streisand and Helen Reddy. “I had affairs with many leading men,” she admitted, “but James Brolin, Warren Beatty, and Jack Nicholson were like brothers.”
Her husband, Guy Hector, a Beverly Hills realtor twenty years her junior, was introduced by Joan Collins in the 1980s. Her dating advice for young actresses? “Look him in the eye—if he’s cockeyed, move on!”
Acting Career – Stage
Brenda’s stage career shines with three Tony nominations—for Cactus Flower, Dow Jones, and The Goodbye People.
Brenda, known as a ‘husky-voiced actress,’ is a three-time Tony Award nominee for Best Featured Actress in a Play (Cactus Flower), Best Actress in a Musical (Dow Jones), and Best Actress in a Play (The Goodbye People).
Her voice, a unique instrument, became an asset across different mediums, bring her success in film, TV, stage – and animation.
More recently, when ill health forced Valerie Harper to bow out of the production of Nice Work If You Can Get It at the Ogunquit Playhouse, Brenda took over her role for the summer of 2015.
On the Atlantic coast in Maine, the playhouse is considered America’ foremost summer theater.
Acting Career – Big Screen
She played Ethel Rosenberg in Stanley Kramer’s Judgment: The Trial of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg in 1974.
In this controversial film, Julius and Ethel Rosenberg go from feeding the poor during the Depression to embracing the ideals of Communism.
However, after WWII, the USSR is no longer a U.S. ally and the Rosenbergs’ political activities become dangerously subversive.
In Airport ’77 (1977), Brenda joined an all-star cast including Jack Lemmon and James Stewart in a box-office hit that grossed $91.1 million worldwide (nearly $500 million today).
She later played Al Pacino’s sister in You Don’t Know Jack (2010) and Gloria Marquette in And Just Like That…
In Supergirl (1984), Brenda was with a cast that Faye Dunaway, Peter O’Toole, and Mia Farrow.
Midnight Cowboy
“I’ve learned on every show – sometimes the lessons have been harsh.” I learned so much from Midnight Cowboy.”
With John Schlesinger and John Voight, the film won an Oscar despite the Motion Picture Association giving it an X rating. This groundbreaking, X-rated (now called NC-17) Best Picture winner redefined cinematic realism… But Brenda said she didn’t like the nude scene in this film – the “romantic scene.”
“They gave me ‘pasties’ for my nipples, but they wouldn’t
stay put so I just took them off,” Brenda remembered.
Acting Career – Small Screen
On television, Brenda led the 1976 series Sara, starred in the 1984 series Paper Dolls, and delivered memorable guest roles in The Golden Girls, Friends (as Joey’s mother), Columbo, and The Love Boat, showcasing her versatility across decades.
“I joined Friends at only the fifth show,” she said. “My agent sent me over, saying the show was going nowhere, but she should at ‘least show up and get some practice.’”
Voice Overs and Animation
Brenda’s husky, unmistakable voice has made her a standout in animation, from the sassy Bunny Bravo in Johnny Bravo to the mischievous Scruple in The Smurfs.
“Voice work is pure fun,” she told me. “You get to be bigger, bolder, without worrying about the camera.” Her vocal versatility has made her a fan favorite in cartoons, adding another layer to her multifaceted career.
What about Michael Douglas and Barbra Streisand?
Brenda almost married Michael Douglas after a seven-year relationship.
She guest-starred in two episodes of The Streets of San Francisco, the TV crime drama in which Douglas co-starred from 1972 to 1977.
Brenda has been friends with Barbra Streisand since they both appeared on Broadway in the early 1960s.
They played across the street from one another and would meet in a little hole-in-the-wall for a snack at intermission, Brenda told me.
Streisand directed her in The Mirror Has Two Faces, a film about a shy, middle-aged professor (Jeff Bridges) who pursues a platonic relationship with an unlucky-in-love colleague (Streisand).
The cast also included Pierce Brosnan, George Segal, Mimi Rogers, and Lauren Bacall.
Return to New York City
Brenda returned from Los Angeles to New York with seven suitcases, shortly before the Pandemic. She was happy to fall into a friend’s furnished apartment just below Central Park and has been able to stay there ever since.
Nonnas Triumphant
Nonnas’ success lies in its authenticity, drawn from Brenda’s Sicilian roots and memories of her Aunt Marge in Brooklyn. “I was basically doing my Aunt Marge,” she said.
Shot in under five weeks, the film’s emotional depth, enhanced by co-stars like Lorraine Bracco and director Stephen Chbosky, moved even the toughest audiences.
“People need their grandmothers,” Brenda noted.
And Vince Vaughn, she added—the actor who played the father in the movie—was “the ultimate gentleman.”
Nonnas, incidentally, was directed by Brenda’s friend Stephen Chbosky who wrote the screenplays for Rent (2005) and Beauty and the Beast (2017).
Future Plans and Dreams: Nonnas 2
“My dream would be to make the second Nonnas – a sequel – the second movie, perhaps in Italy.” She said she would be very excited to reunite with the cast and looks forward to that possibility.
Flowin’ and Glowin’ Forward
Over dinner, Brenda reflected, “I’ve learned a lot and I’ve learned nothing. My advice to actors? Learn everything you can, then let go—life’s too short.”
Her mantra, “Life’s flowin’ and glowin’,” encapsulates her resilience through personal losses—her father’s death, heartbreak with Richie Cole, and Hollywood’s pressures.
With her fingers intertwined, she emphasized, “Family, chosen or blood, gets you through.”
As we parted, her mischievous grin and enduring optimism lingered, a testament to a life well-lived and a career still thriving, from Midnight Cowboy to Nonnas.
Brenda Vaccaro’s story is a testament to resilience, improvisation, and the power of la famiglia.
INTERVIEW | Brenda Vaccaro: Flowin’ and Glowin’ Through Six Decades (July 28, 2025)
75-Word Audio Summary (Italics)
Brenda Vaccaro reflects on her six-decade career, guided by the mantra “Life’s flowin’ and glowin’.” From Oscar-nominated roles in Midnight Cowboy to her Emmy-nominated turn in Netflix’s hit Nonnas, she shares tales of Sicilian roots, Detroit jazz-club wisdom, and Hollywood resilience. At 85, Vaccaro emphasizes family, improvisation, and authenticity—honed under mentor Sanford Meisner—while eyeing a Nonnas sequel. Her journey, marked by iconic TV appearances and voice acting, celebrates enduring passion.
#BrendaVaccaro #HollywoodLegend #NonnasMovie #MidnightCowboy #ActressLife #SicilianHeritage #GoldenGirls
#VoiceActing #FilmHistory #Theater #Resilience #FlowinAndGlowin #OscarNominated #EmmyNominee #ClassicTV
TAGS: Brenda Vaccaro, Nonnas, Midnight Cowboy, Hollywood actress, Sicilian heritage, Emmy nomination,
Netflix, Sanford Meisner, Voice acting, Broadway, Television, Interview, Resilience, Family, Improvisation
