Dr. Sami –
Over the summer, I slept with a number of people and unfortunately picked up an STD. Now I’m back at college and dating one person exclusively. I didn’t know about the STD until just recently, and we have been sleeping together without protection for several weeks. We were not dating exclusively over the summer, but I also don’t want to look like a slut. Do I need to admit to the problem or do you think I can just ignore it?
– Worried (Sick) in New Jersey
Dear Worried (Sick),
You’re facing a delicate situation, one that involves both your health and the trust you share with your current partner. It’s completely understandable to feel conflicted about how to approach this, but honesty and responsibility should be your top priorities.
- Health and Responsibility First
The first thing to acknowledge is that this situation involves both your well-being and that of your partner. If you have an STD and you’re engaging in sexual activity without protection, your partner is at risk, even if you haven’t been aware of your condition for long. The responsible thing is to address it openly, not only for the sake of your health but also for your partner’s.
It’s important to put your health first, but doing so also means ensuring that your partner isn’t unknowingly exposed to a potential risk. Even though it might feel uncomfortable, informing them about the situation shows respect for their body and their right to make informed decisions.
- Addressing Your Fears of Judgment
It’s completely normal to feel apprehensive about how your partner might react, especially given societal judgments surrounding sexual activity. But remember that being honest about an STD doesn’t define you or your worth. Health issues like this happen, and addressing them responsibly shows maturity, care, and consideration.
If you fear looking promiscuous, keep in mind that you’re not obligated to share every detail of your sexual history. What’s most important here is the present: that you’ve identified a health concern, are taking responsibility for it, and are being honest with your partner. That speaks volumes about your character.
- How to Approach the Conversation
This conversation may be awkward, but honesty is the foundation of a trusting and respectful relationship. It’s crucial to approach the discussion thoughtfully. Here’s one way to bring it up:
“Hey, I want to talk to you about something important. I just found out that I have an STD, and I didn’t realize it until recently. I didn’t know until now, but I want to be open with you because your health matters to me. I’m getting treatment, and I think it’s important we take the necessary steps to protect both of us moving forward.”
This approach keeps the focus on your current relationship, your concern for your partner’s well-being, and the fact that you’re taking responsible action.
- Taking Precautionary Steps
Even if you haven’t yet had this conversation, it’s important to start taking precautionary measures right away. You should definitely use protection until you’ve had this discussion and both of you can agree on how to move forward. This will not only protect your partner but also show that you are committed to handling this responsibly while you address the issue.
- What If They React Poorly?
While honesty is crucial, it’s also important to understand that your partner may need time to process this information. If they feel hurt or confused, be patient and give them space to come to terms with it. If they respond with anger or judgment, it’s also an opportunity to consider whether the relationship is built on trust and mutual respect. Relationships can face challenges, but how you navigate them defines the future.
Final Thoughts
This situation is uncomfortable, but ignoring it could hurt both your health and your relationship in the long run. By taking responsibility, being open, and ensuring you both prioritize safety, you’ll build trust and navigate this situation with integrity.
You’ve got this, and your health and your relationship deserve the honesty you can give.
Warmly,
Dr. Sami Milan
#STDawareness #HonestCommunication #DatingAdvice #SexualHealth #RelationshipTrust #DrSamiMilan
02/15/25: Carrying the Weight of Silence: Time to Tell My Mother the Truth?
01/15/25: Friend, Boyfriend? Navigating Sensitive Areas with Your Adult Child
12/15/24: Love Without Borders: Facing Family Reaction to Interfaith Romance
11/15/24: How to Keep Family Safe Without Hurting Mother-in-Law’s Feelings
10/15/24: Balancing Compassion, Practicality: Sponsoring Family Member in Need
09/15/24: Dating, Health, Honesty: Should I Share STD Status with My Partner?
08/15/24: Breaking the Cycle: Take Control of Drinking to Save Your Marriage
Discover more from The Stewardship Report
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
