In new documentary, the legendary Piano Man confronts his darkest days, sharing how heartbreak, guilt, and friendship shaped his journey back to music and life.
New York, N.Y. — Billy Joel, known worldwide as the “Piano Man,” is opening up about a chapter of his life that nearly ended his music forever.
In the new documentary, Billy Joel: And So It Goes, which premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival in New York in June 2025, Joel shares the painful story of how a love affair and its aftermath led him to attempt suicide twice, casting a long shadow over his early career.
Who, What, When, Where, and Why
- Who: Billy Joel, iconic singer-songwriter, and his close friend and bandmate, Jon Small, as well as Elizabeth Weber, Small’s wife and later Joel’s first wife.
- What: Joel’s affair with Weber, the subsequent dissolution of his band Attila, and his two suicide attempts during the early 1970s.
- When: The events unfolded in the late 1960s and early 1970s, with Joel reflecting on them now in 2025.
- Where: New York City, where Joel lived, performed, and now shares his story.
- Why: Overwhelmed by guilt, loss, and depression after the affair and breakup of his friendship and band, Joel’s mental health spiraled, nearly costing him his life.
The Affair That Changed Everything
In his early 20s, Billy Joel was part of the heavy-metal duo Attila with drummer Jon Small. The two musicians, along with Small’s wife, Elizabeth Weber, and their son, shared a home. Over time, Joel and Weber developed a close bond that turned into an affair—a “slow build,” as Weber describes in the film. When the truth came out, the fallout was devastating: the band dissolved, friendships were shattered, and Joel was left wracked with guilt and shame.
“I felt very, very guilty about it. They had a child. I felt like a homewrecker,” Joel admits in the documentary. “I was just in love with a woman, and I got punched in the nose, which I deserved. Jon was very upset. I was very upset.”
Descent Into Darkness
After Weber left and Attila broke up, Joel’s life unraveled. He became homeless, sleeping in laundromats, and battled severe depression.
“I had no place to live. I was sleeping in laundromats, and I was depressed, I think to the point of almost being psychotic,” Joel recalls.
“So, I figured, ‘That’s it. I don’t want to live anymore.’ I was just in a lot of pain, and it was sort of like why hang out?
Tomorrow is going to be just like today is, and today sucks. So, I just thought I’d end it all.”
His sister, then a medical assistant, tried to help by giving him sleeping pills for his insomnia.
But Joel took them all, ending up in a coma for several days.
“I went to go see him in the hospital, and he was laying there white as a sheet. I thought that I’d killed him,” she shares in the film.
A Friend’s Forgiveness and a Second Chance
Despite the pain caused by the affair, it was Jon Small who rushed Joel to the hospital after his first suicide attempt—and again after his second, when Joel ingested lemon Pledge, a furniture polish, in another desperate act.
“Even though our friendship was blowing up, Jon saved my life,” Joel says.
Small reflects, “He never really said anything to me. The only practical answer I can give as to why Billy took it so hard was because he loved me that much and that it killed him to hurt me that much. Eventually, I forgave him.”
The Road to Recovery and Redemption
After surviving both attempts, Joel checked himself into an “observation ward,” where he began the long journey toward recovery. The experience, he says, was life-changing. “I got out of the observation ward, and I thought to myself, ‘You can utilize all those emotions to channel that stuff into music,’” Joel shares. This realization marked the turning point that would fuel his songwriting and ultimately help him heal.
A Message of Hope
Today, Billy Joel is candid about his struggles, hoping his story will encourage others to seek help and know they are not alone. In 2025, Joel is also facing new health challenges, having been diagnosed with normal pressure hydrocephalus (NPH), a brain disorder that has led him to cancel upcoming performances. Yet, sources say he is “not ready to retire” and remains committed to his music and fans.
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health challenges, emotional distress,
or suicidal thoughts, call or text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
#AndSoItGoes #MentalHealthAwareness #MusicHeals #SurvivorStory
#TribecaFestival #SuicidePrevention #Hope #Inspiration #NYC #BillyJoel
TAGS: Billy Joel, suicide attempts, documentary, And So It Goes, Elizabeth Weber, Jon Small,
Attila, mental health, New York, music, recovery, inspiration, brain disorder, NPH, Tribeca Festival
Summary for Audio File
Billy Joel’s new documentary, “And So It Goes,” reveals the deeply personal story behind his two suicide attempts in his early 20s. After an affair with his best friend’s wife led to the breakup of his band and friendships, Joel spiraled into depression and guilt, attempting to end his life twice. Miraculously surviving with the help of those around him, Joel ultimately found a path to healing, channeling his pain into the music that would define his career and inspire millions.
